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STREAKER LOSES HIS STRIDES
She was in the city to open the Millennium Bridge, when Brynn Reed defied tight security to carry out his stunt, overtaking the royal Rolls Royce. The trousers, which have two slits from ankle to crotch and were held together with Velcro, performed majestically; falling apart as he vaulted over the railings. His girlfriend, Susannah Johnson, had painted "Rude Britannia" on his buttocks. She told the court how he "waved furiously with all his bits dangling." The court confiscated the trousers and ordered that they be "forfeited and destroyed." Reed claims the stunt was the first of a list of "achievements" he hoped to accomplish during his life.
SOUL TRADER CASHES IN
He posted an advert on the auction site eBay, having been inspired by an episode of The Simpsons. The Byker lad drew up a contract written in his own blood, which seems to have tempted a man from Oklahoma, America. The unnamed buyer says he lost his own soul in a game of air hockey, and would put Gareth’s to good use. Now the fine art and photography student intends auctioning the rest of himself on the internet.
Local lad Charles Tams, aged 21, was lifted after an officer found him lurking in a back yard, where he claimed he was simply retrieving some cans of beer stashed there. The police later found the plants and six mountain bikes hidden in a bush outside the nearby General Hospital. “It is clear that others had been in and out of the yard stealing property all evening,” his brief told the court. “One would have thought the police station would have better security, especially if keeping cannabis.” Tams was convicted for the theft, and sentenced to three months. Police were appaled at the sentence, saying he had served four periods of custody for similar offences over the years. He had hit the same shop three times in six months but was freed by Newcastle Crown Court, as his sentence was deferred for six months.
The venue, which has waged an often unseemly war against protesters since it opened last year, countered this with a petition signed by 600 of its supporters. One of the conditions of its new licence is that the club stops advertising itself on a huge illuminated billboard, which has been towed around town at weekends by a Range Rover. But the club has found another way of drawing attention itself. Although one suspects they’re having a laugh, advertising the quality and sophistication of their topless "beauties” on the back end of Go-Ahead Northern’s buses.
PLEASE SEND YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO editorial@newcastlestuff.com GREAT STUFF that Ashington dictionary, it’s a very tricky accent to understand. YOUR ASHINGTON dictionary reminds me of an old joke. Trespass coats of course, peddle pushers (trousers cut off at the shins usually day glow coloured). Trainers (no socks) nike, addidas but reebok mostly as they are cheapest of the better labels. Coat pulled right in at the waist and half a ton of 9 carat gold necklaces round their necks. The baby sick stains are optional accessories. |
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LAST YEAR we reported on a daring robbery at West End Police Station, where several cannabis plants were stolen from a storeroom at the nick.
CONTROVERSIAL TABLE dancing club For Your Eyes Only has had its licence renewed, despite letters and signatures from almost 900 people being presented to Newcastle Council chiefs.
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