A NEWCASTLE publican is being hauled before the courts, for insulting the people of Sunderland. Landlady Yvonne Mann – whose pub the Adelphi, on Shakespeare Street, is a shrine to the Magpies – landed herself in trouble by displaying a scarf which features the words "Sunderland are shite".

One would have thought Sunderland’s own football team had caused sufficient insult to Mackems with their piss-poor performance last season, and this is a simple statement of fact. But Newcastle police don’t think this is a laughing matter, and have charged her with a Section Five public order offence.

The rivalry between both sets of fans is legendary, and as insults go, this is very mild indeed.An entire industry has sprung up in recent years, producing merchandise aimed at ridiculing fans of both Newcastle United and Sunderland.

Some fans have ventured into song, notably Septic Hank, who has recorded and released two highly inflammatory tunes which have provoked threats of violence towards him.

"The first tune, ‘The Mackem Song’, was composed after someone gave me a spoof letter to Marge Proops’ problem page," he told Newcastle Stuff.

"It listed all these terrible problems, but it ends up with the worst one imaginable, saying: ‘how am I going to tell my husband his daughter’s going out with a Mackem?"
But he excels himself on his second release, entitled ‘Monkey Mackem’ – a reference to Sunderland football club’s ape-featured manager.

It features the incendiary hook-line "You’re a Mackem, dirty monkey Mackem, you’re a Mackem, you’re from Sunderland."

"Goffy was emailed a copy by persons unknown and played it on his Century Radio show for several weeks," he says. "He also played the first one for weeks as well.

"They got a huge response, including one from a Mackem who wanted to find out where I lived so he could shove a copy up my arse. So I keep my identity secret to avoid bother from them," he adds, sensibly.

NEWCASTLE STUFF, of course, refuses to be drawn into this Sunderland-baiting thing. Only last month, we highlighted the plight of the poor wretches on Wearside, who used the new Metro link with Tyneside, to seek a better life.

That’s why we’re getting rid of several copies of the singles which have come into our possession, rather than have them lying around the office.

If you’d like to win one of five pairs of copies, email or write to us with the answer to the following simple question: who finished higher in last season’s Premiership and therefore has indisputably the better team, Newcastle United or Sunderland?

If you don’t win, you can buy copies for £3.99 at Reflex Records, on Nun Street.
• You can hear both songs on our web site: www.newcastlestuff.com