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NEWCASTLE UNITED fans were warned last month that if they turned up for the team's game against Middlesbrough wearing gas masks, they faced being arrested.
Middlesbrough supporters are nicknamed the 'Smoggies', because of the massive ICI chemical works that dominate the town, and the stench they create.
Visiting fans have taken to wearing the masks to taunt the locals - and this includes those from Sunderland, who have nothing to laugh at home.
But things have got a little out of hand, with some Toon followers kitted-out in full bio-chemical suits.
Given the current Middle Eastern situation and worldwide paranoia about chemical and bacterial attacks, Boro police considered this practice to be rather distasteful and have told supporters - hence the warning.
CHARVER CUISINE could soon be sold alongside sauerkraut, bagels and baguettes, as local baker Greggs of Gosforth plans to open outlets across Europe.
The company already has shops across the United Kingdom, but chiefs reckon the Contintent is now ready for authentic Geordie scran.
Their corned beef pasty has long been used as a pacifier for local babies, instead of the more traditional dummy.
Charver mums are happy to put up with the trail of crumbs; safe in the knowledge their children are getting all the nutrients they need in order to turn out just like them.
However, one local delicacy, which apparently doesn't travel so well, is the humble stotty cake: these, for some reason, are only sold as far south as Harrogate.
THIS STORY is so bizarre that we have reproduced the headline from The Journal, as proof it hasn’t been invented.
"A disabled pensioner was saved by a cooked chicken when her new pet dog suddenly turned vicious and started attacking her in the front garden," it begins.
To cut a long story short (and it is a long -'un), The Journal reported that a Miss Winchester, aged 63, of Alnwick, was attacked last month by an 8-year old golden retreiver she’d just acquired the same day.
Her sister, Frances, saw what was happening and lured the dog away with a cooked chicken.
Frances rang 999 and told the operator her sister had been mauled and had lost a leg.
When the crew arrived, they found Miss Winchester covered in blood and a leg lying next to her.
It was an artificial one, fitted 53 years ago, after an amputation following an attack by spaniel.
"I think that’s my finish with dogs from now on unless I get a toy poodle and put it on the mantelpiece," she told reporters.
A SURVEY carried out last month by snack firm Snack-A-Jacks to find the best and worst chat-up lines held few surprises.
Among the top ten corniest one-liners were: “Are your legs hurting, because you’ve been running through my mind all night?”; “Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?”; “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”; “Is their an airport nearby or was that my heart I heard taking off?”, and the evergreen “This body leaves in five minutes - be on it.”
But by far the most effective was, not surprisingly, “Can I buy you a drink?”
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NEWCASTLE has been voted the Stag and Hen capital of the UK and it’s champion to see the city’s caterers doing the Toon proud.
