|
|
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Washington man Neil Savage was granted bail by local magistrates, on condition he doesn’t leave his Robin Reliant van between 9pm and 7am. Police have tried three times to have him remanded in custody, on the basis that he’s homeless. But he told the court that his motor lacked nothing in the way of home comforts, including a fitted carpet, mattress, television and cooker. It also has a chemical toilet and he has a pint of milk delivered to the car door each day. He split with his girlfriend a few years ago and lived with a mate for a while. Then he converted his van into a home by building a 7ft by 4ft time cabin onto the back. The van is parked near his brother’s house, from which he runs a cable for electricity and pays him £5 a week to watch his television. Savage is accused of stealing from a car, having an offensive weapon and possessing drugs.
Basing yourself in Newcastle, you’ve got the wildness of the Bigg Market and the Quayside; and the wilderness of Northumberland to explore the next day. But once you’re north of Blyth, you’re on your own. They’re all Toon supporters, but even Tynesiders can’t understand the dialect. If you must venture North, here’s some useful words. We like this kind of thing at Newcastle Stuff, so there’ll be plenty more next month.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Little is known of Eric’s past. Even his age was vague, as it varied depending on which benefit he was applying for - although some say he was 72. Among his many recent addresses was the bandstand in the Exhibition Park, and anywhere in Jesmond Dene. But he spent his last few years at the Jazz Café, living upstairs for a while and ‘helping out’ in the kitchen. One of his few chores was buying the week’s vegetables, but that was a risky business for Eric. Armed with a couple of hundred quid grocery money, the lure of the horses was often too much and he would return a couple of weeks later, empty handed, to face the music at the Jazz Café. But Eric was a restless character whose fondness for travelling was legendary. Particularly among inspectors on the Metro. He was nicked for fare-dodging a record 220 times (this record still stands), and as a mark of respect, they had a whip-round to buy him a season ticket. When he wasn’t riding the rails, he was riding his bike. And when that got nicked, the police clubbed together to buy another one. But he was good at brewing tea. Among many who supped from his pot was Wynton Marsalis who – like lots of celebs in action in town – came down to the Jazz Café after a sell-out City Hall gig, and blew with the house band for a couple of hours. The Jazz Giant was locked in conversation with the Mobile Minnow for a further hour, although God now only knows what they were talking about. He was cremated over in Gateshead, much to the resident vicar’s bemusement. He met his maker to the very fitting strains of ‘Midnight Cowboy’; but not before Australian singer Gypsy Dave Smith saw him off with a pertinent re-write of Waltzing Matlida: Ode to Eric EATING OWT: George & Dragon
Definitely not among these is last week’s lager, especially after it’s been passed through a bladder and allowed to mature in a dank doorway. But hey – if this is your thing, we’ve found the very diner for you: The George & Dragon, in Eldon Square. This is, quite simply, the most aromatic eaterie in the city. There are two approaches to the George, and each will thrill the most jaded set of nostrils. If that’s set your nostrils twitching, there’s more. The other entrance is recommended for those who believe that owning two healthy lungs is nowt but pure greed. Half an hour spent in the fume-filled Eldon Square Bus Concourse will give you the lung capacity of a life-long chain-smoker, but just enough time to find the other entrance to the George & Dragon. Approaching from the Eldon Green end - as I did, because that’s my thing – you enter the bar. Immediately, the nostrils are twitching. If you’re a beagle, you’ve just hit dog heaven. So the floors, walls and ceiling have been kippered by three decades of serious Woodbine abuse. They enjoy their tabs in the George & Dragon, and make damn sure other customers fully share the experience. Lunch is served downstairs, next to the Bus Concourse entrance. The fare is simple – chicken and what-have-you. Unfortunately, while reading the chalked menu, I started coughing so much that I jack-knifed and had to be assisted off the premises. No disrespect to the staff – barmen and barwomen are the backbone of society – but this pub is minging. But not if stinking doorways is your thing…. DOON YER NECK: The Cluny
The Campaign For Real Ale (CAMRA) selected the Cluny from a list of 43 entrants and will make the presentation this month. The Cluny is far from typical of the pubs normally favoured by CAMRA. These tend towards the traditional, ‘dog-by-the-fire’ family-run boozers; whereas this year’s winner has only been open around four years. But the atmosphere created in the former bonded warehouse, along with the food and friendliness of the staff, has combined with the excellence of the real ale, to swing it their way. "The friendliness thing got me," says manager John Jenkins. "I can only assume the staff’d had their breakfast when the inspectors came in. "But I’m overwhelmed and overjoyed by the award, seeing as the Cluny isn’t your average, run-of-the-mill pub. For them, the Cluny is a bit whacky. This has been a team effort, no one part of the set-up won this itself." The range of ales also impressed CAMRA. A particular favourite is Big Lamp’s Prince Bishop, and a well-kept selection from the Hadrian & Border and Durham breweries. Other popular drinks include Raspberry Wheat Beer and organic lager from Holland.
• RESPECT for the dear old Queen Mother, from the Tyneside Massive.
ANOTHER TRIUMPH for Newcastle Job Centre. There’s plenty of work available for thieves, as long as the public park their bicycles outside.
CULTURE STUFF
Bum Information had listed the bogs as a great place for casual sex. But as you can see from our pic, the holes in the wall between the urinal and the cubicle have now been plugged. Not to worry - Fenwicks’ stylish shit-house has retained its five-star rating for a third year.
THE LOCAL PRESS had a field day last month, when lap-dancing club For Your Eyes Only announced it was holding a childrens’ charity night. he event was roundly condemned as a cheap publicity stunt and has been postponed indefinitely, with protesters claiming their first victory in a long war with the club. The truth is that the club’s provisional six-month license expired in March and a new one was granted – so they didn’t have to share their grubby cash with a bunch of kids, after all. Elsewhere, club’s publicity campaign has turned decidedly nasty. Protesters recently launched a web site called They Have To Pay For It, which attempts to humiliate punters by posting their pictures on the web. These have since been withdrawn due to legal worries. However, the club’s supporters have pulled no punches in a parody of that site, called They Have To Whine About It. Inspired by a strip in VIZ featuring Millie Tant protesting outside a club called ‘For Your Thighs Only’, it describes the protesters as T.W.A.T.S. – "Tyne and Wear Action Team Squatters" – a measure of the wit and sophistication of their effort. The site links to the message board on the real protesters’ site, which has been overrun by perves arguing the toss about the cub’s merits. Meanwhile, For Your Eyes Only has resorted to drumming up trade by towing a huge advertising hoarding around town on the back of a car – the most telling sign yet that the club hasn’t been the success the owners had hoped.
THE BLUE CARPET has finally been put to good use: it’s become the world’s most expensive skateboard park. And it’s taking a real hammering under the boarders’ wheels. Despite costing £1.4m, the shoddy tiles have lost most of their ‘blueness’ where people have been walking. A couple more months of skateboarding and they’ll look as grey as the thirty-bob paving stones they replaced. Not that you can tell from the official Blue Carpet web site. In order to show off the city’s pride and joy – a "shimmering sea of blue" – the council has set up four or five web cams to feed pictures to the world. Somehow, the crappy pink images fail to do it justice. In fact the web site is every bit as inept as the artwork itself. Last night I settled down with a can and a kebab, to watch the fights outside the nearby Ikon nightclub on the web cams. No sign of action, though. It’s shown the same picture for nearly a month. And I’ve spent weeks trying to leave messages at the web site - on behalf of our readers - but none have appeared on the guest page. Can’t the council take a bit of gentle criticism? I only wanted to tell them that we think the Blue Carpet is a crock of shite. |
NEWCASTLE STUFF has been known to invent the odd story or two – but there’s no need when real ones are as odd as this.
NEWCASTLE STUFF is mourning the passing of Eric Baker, well loved by the clientele at the Jazz Café, and a well-known client of most of Newcastle’s bookies.
THERE ARE many smells that get the gastric juices flowing: a whiff of lightly fried garlic, perhaps. The subtle bouquet of herbs and spices which waft along Stowell Street of a summer’s eve. Marmite on toast.
NEWCASTLE’S CLUNY scooped a top award last month, being named Tyneside & Northumberland Pub Of The Year, for 2002/2003
Signs Of The Time (1)
Signs Of The Time (2)
RECENT IMPROVEMENTS to Newcastle’s Central Library are to be applauded.|
|
 |