Sleeping Satellite
AFTER A BRIEF lifespan as Newcastle’s premier underground superclub has ended, with the doors shutting probably as you read this.
Home to an array of the less commercial nights the Toon had to offer, the club’s attendance figures sadly didn’t do the bizz, and drafting in new hard house night ‘Tuff’ didn’t help, despite my valiant dancefloor antics last week (it was me in the happy hardcore room, sorry).
Included in the newly-homeless are hardstyle undergroundsters ‘Cause & Effect’, who must be feeling a little anti-Midas touch at the mo’, after losing their dancefloor space @ the Arts Centre in favour of chin-stroking acoustics.
While we’re waiting for the boys to bounce back, a spot of bouncing on the Satellite dancefloor is required one last time as the fellow Leeds hardhousers ‘Housewives Choice’ join forces with C&E on 3/5 (see article skulking elsewhere on the page).
Many commiseration’s also to the fellows at ‘Freaky Dancing’ and all the drum and bass dudes, perhaps you all can chip in a £10 each and buy out ‘Bow-wow Beach Club’?
'Cause and Effect' clean up
THE ABOVE MENTIONED local underground types are in for a bit of a wash and brush up this month (not that they need it, those well groomed boys) as Leeds hard house heroes 'Housewives Choice' venture North to join C&E at their new home, 'Satellite' on 3/5.
The lovely Angel X & the Cheeky Boys will be doing things decks-wise with the slightly more pedestrianly named, but just as fabulous C&E residents Johnathan Miles, Pete Wallis and Phil Cogan.
Many household chore themed antics can be expected, and if the Leeds lot like what they see, then hopefully the lads will get an invite down there, there'll be a coach on and we can all go shopping the next day.
Pure selflessness if what motivates these pages, peeps.
All those who like it hard (?!) should be ready to rumble from 10pm-3am, £6 only, info: 0191 2724449/www.causeandeffect.org.uk.
Unsubstantiated Clubland bollox
THE LAST CINEMA in the area that wasn’t a tacky neon hell hole, the lovely Odeon, sadly shut down to make way for the ‘Gate’ (aaargh my eyes, too bright, too bright), is rumoured to be undergoing a refit as ‘Rockshots 3’ aka ‘Nice’s’ new home.
So silly it might just be true, it raises a few important questions…
’Rockshots 2’ is now deserted, but where the fook was ‘Rockshots 1’?… whatever happened to ‘Nice’s’ venture under the railway arches… and will Skev go the whole hog and don an usherette’s costume? Nice indeed.
And the rest as they say is History
AS MENTIONED in last months witterings, 'Promise' @ Foundation have had a bit of a rejig with their promotion strategy.
And as I did head honcho Mark Deacon the injustice of completely failing to quote him last month (a cut and paste straight from the 'Promise' message board went wrong, sadly), the least I can do is give a partial run down of what the immediate future has in store for Foundation's newly spare two Fridays month.
Kicking off on the 2/5, and following every 3rd Fri of the month will be new night 'History', featuring old school anthem & rave classics, headlined by Altern-8 and one Dreammaker, with a backroom set from DJ Marky D.
Those of a certain age and musical persuasion may remember Dreammaker from the Coliseum (RIP), a young Mr.R.Tulip, who then went onto great heights as 'Promise' resident. Which just leaves the mystery of who this Marky D is?!
Apart from some familiar faces, all very new and different for Newcastle you may say...sadly the geezers behind 'History of Dance' @ Northumbria Uni, local old school night that last month featured...yep, Altern-8, don't seem to think so, and the debate begins as to artistic licence vs copyright. Aaawww, can't we all just get on?
Homeward Bound
FESTIVAL SEASON is upon us, club chums, and the slide downhill that will see you rolling about Bora Bora beach in a seretonin-depleted heap come August, has begun.
On Saturday 24th May, however, you'll be feeling relatively fresh and funky, and well prepared to do battle with the eclectic assault of the eardrums that is 'Homelands'.
>From 1pm - 6am, the Matterley Bowl, Winchester, Hampshire will rock to the sounds of Groove Armada; The Streets; The Chemical Brothers; Roger Sanchez; Pete Tong; John Digweed; Dave Clarke; 2 Many DJ's (Soulwax); Derrick Carter; Grandmaster Flash;
>Audio Bullies (LIVE); Cassius; Unklesounds; CajAlkan; Jon Carter; Mint Royale (LIVE); Plump DJ's; Rui Da Silva; Hernan Cattaneo; Jacques Lu Cont and a shed load more.
Yep, for once cutting and pasting of the press release is a must rather than shoddy reporting on my part, as this line-up is just fresh and different enough to persuade us all to drive for 10hrs on Britain’s wonderful roads, towards sunny Winchester.
Except me that is, who is on the rota for that Sat and Sun and would do almost anything for a swap... if the powers-that be are reading this, the teabags are ready and the sugar is primed - yes I will even do the break-time beverages run - if it means I can kick the summer off Homelands style.
TICKET INFO:
Tickets £49adv, C/C Hotline: 020 7344 0044 (24hrs), or book online @ www.meanfiddler.com & www.ticketmaster.co.uk. Also from Ticketmaster in selected Virgin, Tower Records and Waitrose Stores, plus usual agents (subject to booking fee). No booking fee for cash purchases from Astoria box office, Camden Ticketshop and all Mean Fiddler box offices. Info Line: 020 8963 0940.
Leaving the postcode this month..
A CLUBBING double-whammy is on the cards this month, as the 9/5 sees the O’Neill mobile off to ‘hyperdelic trance/techno’ night ‘Planet Zog’ @ the Arches, Sheffield.
None of the Radio 1 mafia in sight, just low key local action and a funky house room for when it all gets too much.
It really is going to get too much; however, at around 7pm on 10/5 as I head back down the motorway to the Orbit in Leeds to indulge in a little techno action.
Again a funky house room has also been promised, but I have my doubts that techno types will chill out to the sound of ‘So Much Love to Give’ and the like… unless it’s the gabba version that is.

THOSE WHO tire of harder beats may want to check up 'Funky Soundz' @ Clear Bar (ex Nice bar), Pudding Chare, as the chaps who brought you 'Vuzz' @ the Egypt Cottage turn their hands to something a little more funksome. Official warm up to 'Studio 54' @ World HQ, 'Funky' kicks off on 7/5 where the delights of residents Andy B, Nick Pashley, Tony Renwick and Craig White plus guests can be heard for a rather reasonable nothing at all with the obligatory drinks offers.