NEWCASTLE COPS had a persistent thief in their nick last month, but not for long – he was actually burgling the place.
Cheeky Charlie Tams, aged 21, was arrested after police found six mountain bikes and several cannabis plants missing from a storeroom in the West End Police Station.
He was only lifted after an officer found him lurking in a back yard, where he claimed he was simply retrieving some cans of beer stashed there before visiting a mate banged up inside at the time. As one does.
The bizarre story was revealed in court, where the boy Tams was convicted of burglary and sentenced to three months in prison.
He originally denied the charge but police found the plants and bikes stashed in a bush outside the nearby General Hospital. His dabs were on one of the bikes.
His brief, Brad Stephens, played a blinder in court, claiming it was only bad luck which lead to his capture.
"It is clear that others had been in and out of the yard stealing property all evening," he said. "One would have thought that the police station would have better security, especially if keeping cannabis."
Cops later criticised the sentence, claiming he had served four periods of custody for similar offences over the years.
The boy Tams underlined growing contempt for the law in Newcastle’s West End, by burgling GT Electricals, on Barrack Road, days after being released on bail for doing the cop shop.

---

"Is there a Chronicle reporter in the bar?"

TRIBUTES HAVE poured in praising the Evening Chronicle for its part in averting a major disaster, following the cancellation of the Love Parade.
The newspaper campaigned against the stupidity of the city council, who had put the enjoyment of quarter of a million people before the feelings of some residents of Jesmond.
Had the event gone ahead, these delicate souls would have been exposed to the full horror of youth culture.
Resisting the temptation to tell these whingers to ‘shut the fuck up’, the Chronicle highlighted fears that their streets would be overrun by drug-crazed youngsters urinating and fornicating in their gardens.
And our beloved Town Moor – that vast empty space enjoyed daily by a few dozen joggers and flashers – would have been a bit untidy after the one-off dance festival, only a month after it had been wrecked by the annual Hoppings fair.
The Chronicle should also be thanked for its constant criticism of the costs involved in staging this potential fiasco.
There was no way the council could justify spending a couple of hundred thousand pounds in a cynical attempt to generate around fifteen million for the local economy.
If the Evening Chronicle had fallen for myth that this event could have been good for the city, it would almost certainly have happened.
But bosses at the Evening Chronicle will be too modest to accept our humble thanks. The increased sales of the newspaper before the non-event will be reward enough.

---

---

REGULAR READERS will recall the fury caused by Newcastle Council’s decision to back a controversial lap-dancing club in the city.
But now the company that owns ‘For Your Eyes Only’ is trying to sell the chain of seedy venues, following pressure from its shareholders.
Surrey-based SFI Leisure bought the disused Manors Social Club earlier this year, which was promptly occupied by protesters angry at the Labour council’s support for the venture.
They barricaded themselves in the building for several weeks, claiming the arrival of a lap-dancing club in the city would lead to on-street prostitution which - rather uniquely - doesn’t exist in Newcastle.
City councillors seemed to quite like the idea and gave the company its approval.
But while work continues on converting the venue, its owners now consider it too vulgar to sit alongside its other its other businesses, which include the recently-acquired Slug & Lettuce pub chain.
"It ain’t sex, drugs or pornography, but it has a major credibility issue with shareholders," SFI’s chairman Tony Hill says.
"In a perfect world, we would stay with For Your Eyes Only," he adds, unaware that in a perfect world men wouldn’t pay to leer at women in strip clubs.
And in a perfect city, Labour councils wouldn’t get into bed with such sleaze merchants.

---

COUNCIL CHIEFS have introduced a ban on drinking in the streets of Newcastle, in a clamp-down on the city’s outdoor alkies. Under the new scheme police will be able to confiscate their drinks and arrest them if they persist.
The no-booze zone covers the area between the Haymarket, St James Boulevard, the Quayside and the Central Motorway.
But it is around the Monument where drinkers cause the greatest nuisance, spoiling the pleasure of thousands of sober citizens who gather there to be entertained by the city’s bible-bashers and Peruvian pipe bands.
Newcastle Stuff witnessed the police trying out their new powers there, as they tried to separate a woman from her bottle of White Lightning.
It resulted in one cop having his pants soaked with cider, much to the amusement of four charvers sitting next to her, enjoying a spliff.
The law comes too late to bother legendary lush Ashley Jones (pic, above), arrested a staggering 200 times for drunkenness in just three years.
Jones died last month, aged 45. There’ll be a warm cell waiting for him in heaven.

---

YOUNG DRUNK driver Gary McGowan thought his luck was in when a taxi pulled up while he was legging it from the police.
Thinking the blue light on top was a cab sign, he jumped in, put his feet up on the dash board and gave directions to his home.
But the car was an unmarked BMW driven by PC Stoker, who took him straight to the local nick.
McGowan had abandoned his own car in the pursuit and ran behind some shops when PC Stoker pulled alongside and shouted: "Jump in mate."
"I was laughing so much I could hardly put the cuffs on him," the cop said.
McGowan, of County Durham, was three times the drink limit, and was banned from driving for 18 months.

MORE TAXI trouble for cabbie Simon Hall, who was attacked while making a documentary about the dangers of his job.
Hall was recording a programme for BBC Radio Newcastle, when two men jumped into his cab and punched him repeatedly in the face.
He had been taping conversations with passengers and his own observations on his job but had stopped recording moments before the really interesting bit.

A PACK OF Brownies fled for their lives after charvers firebombed a church hall meeting last month.
The 12th Rickleton Brownies, of Washington, escaped with their lives after a molotov cocktail was hurled at the building.
Church pastor Graham Draper said the incident was regrettable and that the church would continue their efforts to involve young people in the community.
A 14-year old boy has been arrested on suspicion of arson.

A DOG almost bit off more than it could chew when it picked up a stash of drugs during a police raid.
Cannabis worth £340 was thrown away by charvers fleeing the raid in east Durham, but quickly picked up by the alsation.
“They laughed when he tried to eat it, but we were in danger of losing evidence,” said Sgt. Foreman. “And also the drug would probably have killed the dog.”

OUR CHARVER of the month award goes to the bright young thing who robbed a house in Fenham last month.
He wrote "burgled" in the owner’s desk diary, before having it away with her telly and video.

---